Snooze goes off. Shit.. that was ten minutes. You're always late, you don't want your first impression to also be a late one. Jump out of bed. Hair is a mess. Make up? Eye's or Lips? Brush your teeth and think about it. No wait, breakfast first.. orange juice doesn't taste as good with a minty after taste. Since when do you drink orange juice? oh. right. Green tea with lemon it is. Cut up bananas, mix it with rice crispies and vanilla yogurt. Ah great the yogurt's fat free.. like I know what that means, I wonder if I looked like a spinster buying fat free yogurt and cat food? Eat breakfast and browse online. Maybe I should check my emails. Ah yay! My order has been shipped.. better make some room in my closet. I guess I can always have some clothes on the floor.
Alright make up. Not too much but I want to make a little bit more of an effort today. Just lay off the eye shadows, you always over do it when you're excited, besides you don't want your first impression to make you look like a drag queen. You only ever get one first impression. Ok winged eyeliner and a LITTLE bit of brown eyeshadow. Nude lips. That never goes wrong. Shit, how did I mess up the left wing? why are my hands so shaky? ugh nerves. stop it. everyone else is new as well. But they probably didn't mess up the wing on their left eye. How come the right eye is always perfect. Ok there, brush your teeth.
Now clothes. I have nothing to wear. Shut up yes you do, your suitcase is a mess and you've double hanged each hanger. Should I look business-y? no. It's fashion. Wear something off the runway? no thats too much you're not a model. Jeans and a button up? You're not a soccer mom. Skirt? no they always blow up on the subway, I don't want to stress that on the first day. You don't want your first impression to be "That girl who flashed the whole of oxford circus" Long sleeve crop top? meh still bloated from last nights dinner. God that pizza was good. Ok this is going nowhere. Maybe I should start from the bottom and work my way to the top.
Shoes shoes shoes.. you'll have to walk so no heels, besides you're too clumsy when you're nervous. Oxfords? no too preppy. What shoes did I wear back in high school? no don't dress like you did in high school. Ok check the weather app, if it's sunny you can wear some sandals. You don't want to end up looking like a tourist because you picked the wrong shoes. God first impression are so hard. Score! It's cloudy with a chance of sunshine. Sandals it is. Birkenstocks? check. Ok. Mom jeans and a sweater? no too plain. A dress? same problem as the skirt, it'll blow up on the underground system. You have spandex to wear under. Yeah but nobody else will ever realize that spandex are not your actual underwear. Jesus, in what world do people wear biking shorts as panties?
FOCUS, Lotta, Focus! what do you want to look like... smart! ha ha. Get glasses. ugh no seriously Lotta this is serious. Smart but casual... I'm wearing sandals. Go monochrome? then there's not too much going on with your outfit. Ok so suit pants? check. High waist or low waist? Low waist I can wear that palm tree tee. Where is it. Come on Lotta you had it on last night.. Ah there perfect. Oh shit.. it's dirty. Don't be that person who doesn't care about their first impression, dirty clothes never look good. Why is it that every time I eat in something white it get more food on my clothes than in my mouth. I'm so clumsy. Shit what if this happens in the cafeteria on my first day? Get a fashionable bib.. I bet North West has one... do they make them in adult sizes?
Shit. Ok so no tee shirt. The boob tee? maybe that's the wrong impression for today, I don't want to scare away potential friends. Maybe the shoes are all wrong, what if they think I'm a nurse because I'm wearing the sandals as well? come one Lotta they won't, their all into fashion as well. Stop stressing the shoes, that's all we have. The shoes stay, besides the weather app said no rain and it's relatively warm. Ok so, high waisted suit pants.. they do make your waist look smaller which in turn gives an illusion that you might actually have an ass. That could be good, no one will notice my little butt insecurity.. better delete anaconda off my "get-pumped" playlist that'll only increase it. Shoot. I have five more minutes. Ah monochrome, get your boyfriend blazer, grab that white tank, hope you shaved your armpits, grab your school bag and run to the tube. Ah I feel like I'm in super-mario, run to the tube.. love the slang here.
Ok just remember first impressions aren't everything. Your outfit isn't what matters the most it's you. Breathe stay calm. Don't make eye contact unless you want a stranger to sketch you again. Get off at oxford circus. You have got to be kidding me.. It's pouring rain. F-U weather app, today was so not a sandal day. Ugh their first impression of me is just going to be that I'm another tourist. Why did I think it was a good idea to go back to school. Maybe I'll get it right tomorrow. Screw the first impression I'll have the best tomorrow-impression.
(F I R S T I M P R E S S I O N S A T T I R E)
(Boyfriend Blazer - Hennes&Mauritz)
(Leather Tasseled Back-Pack - ZARA)
(Crop Lace detailed Top - Topshop)
(Highwaisted suit pants - XXI)
(White Double Strap Sandals - Birkenstocks)
For more street style tips, and the possibility to shop the snap check out Stylemoi.nu :)