Thursday, January 8, 2015

15 things I've learnt for 2015

In most aspects I'm beyond thrilled to be done with 2014 and all the lessons it's taught me, I feel more prepared for the new year (even if it won't bring a new me) and I might even be able to say I positively look forward for whats to come.
So without further ado, here are the great fifteen things I've learnt the past year that will make this year that much greater.
From constantly moving around the globe while growing up, to making many friends, that eventually you go from seeing very little of to not at all, doesn’t give you the best state of mind. Post graduation, a time that makes moving away from your friends finally permanent (the 9th and final nail in the coffin of schools) not only made it easy to watch the Graduate and understand exactly what Benjamin Braddock was going through, but also left me with terrible emotional scarring. From isolating myself to turning into this toxic constantly negative gollum like thing (my precious was my iPhone) my self esteem suffered severely. I’ve eventually begun to realise that for the first time in my life having a choice of where to live isn't as easy as the kid version of me thought and it needs to be taken with caution. I’ve already moved myself, alone, twice, and still not found happiness. My mental state has begun to stabilise, but I need to think more about my choices, and be more grateful that I have them. 

2014 brought on the true nature of people you felt you had known for a lifetime. I'm very grateful to those who have had my back since day one, and I look forward to spending many more years together. However seeing everyone choose where they wanted to go and not have to settle for the location their parents had set them got everyone to preform as they would in their natural habitats, and as happy as I am to see that all the people I once felt close to have found happiness, it is also sadly occasionally a time to say goodbye to those friendships that bring you harm. No more toxicity in 2015.

Coming from a large family, and finally being on my own for the first time, I tend to forget where I come from and who I came there with. Coming back home over the holidays the past few weeks made me truly appreciate my large loud family more than ever. They’ve inspired me to find more people I’m comfortable around 100% no matter what, and if that never occurs I know I will always have their back. The best part? Even if occasionally spending time with my family means that I will have to go back to Finland, the other occasional times means I can go to amazing places like Munich or Copenhagen to see them too. 
I had multiple small jobs last year, as I was switching from place to place, and the only things the first few jobs had in common was that I wasn’t fully enjoying myself, and that if I was enjoying myself it would have been because of the outfits I’d get to wear. I did a crazy scale of things from being an office intern to being an Au pair in Dubai (something I had really wanted to do since I met my Au Pair’s in California, and something I still feel incredibly lucky to have been able to do). But in the end the job that really made a difference in my life was the one where I worked closely with something I was passionate about. So let 2015 be the year where I work with my passion and not let my passion work me. 
From the worst spring of my life, from family news to friends and lovers, I was mess. The stress I brought on myself eventually spread to those I truly care about and shed a light on those bonds I needed to keep, and the ones that needed to mend after my self isolation destroyed them. I learnt that I need to take all relationships seriously, nothing is for granted. Just because you’re related doesn’t make anyone legally obliged to love you or care about you. Which brings me to,

A lesson I learnt, like many others before, is not to waste time worrying about having a boy in my life let alone fighting for the wrong one. I’ve learnt there is a thin line between fighting for someone you love and being used. Which only ever became clear when contrasted with the kind of love everyone deserves, a love that is requited and makes you happy beyond comparison. And on the note of happiness, I learnt a lot about:

 I’ve learnt that no matter what the occasion or the relation I should never feel the need to compare myself to another girl. We’re all very different, and all amazing, there’s no need to wish to be someone else, or make someone else feel bad for being what they are. Rather if you admire someone for something use it as a strength to better yourself towards your own goals, rather than a weakness that makes you bedridden out of jealousy. Individuality is definitely a strength that should be praised. And I feel like a total fool for not seeing that until the age of twenty.

I’ve been known to skip a veggie or two, and prefer soda over water. I was focusing so much on my eating habits, and eating clean and forcing myself to cut down on food I love (like tons and tons of carbs) because I felt unhappy with myself. Eventually getting into shape, didn't make me happier. I realised in 2014 happiness and health can correlate but not just because of having a good physique. In order to truly become healthy, I need to focus on my mental state and being actually happy in a well balanced manner.  So goodbye bed-ridden days of utter guilt and just a down mood, and hello bright 20k15.

After graduating from a high school that merits it’s self on the ivy-league legends it sends off into the world, and it’s heavy influences of business and money mean everything, I was hesitant to study at all. Forcing to look at the world in such a harsh green light, where art wasn’t art but something to be judged based on the social norms, I felt defeated. Through thorough research I’ve found that not all education must come in the normal sense, and that maybe I still may need a gap year or decade to sort through the abstract learning my mind is craving. May 2015 be the year of knowledge. 

From living in the middle east, to travelling through the most hideous parts of Spain to hiking in the alps I’ve had my share of adventures in the past year. Taking note from my boyfriend, I should aim to travel more and see more whilst I have the time and means to go. Not every vacation should be one of utter relaxation and spa treatments, but ones with adventures and stories that will last a life time… or at least until the beginning of 2016.  
Learning from my dad, I spent last year worrying too much, working too much, and doing things just because I felt I “had to”. I need to make more time for small activities I enjoy doing in order to grow as a person, and grow my own future. 

haha I had to add this one (thanks to my mum) recently realising the only alcohol I do still drink is white wine, which unfortunately also happens to be the only thing I’m allergic to. Just to fit in and to have a standard “good night out” I’d drink a glass or two, and be bedridden the next day with what most people would think is an “incurable hangover” but in reality it’s just an allergic reaction. Not only is that way bad for my body, but also the thing a total idiot would do to waste a perfectly good day. Seeing as going out, clubbing or just right getting trashed is no longer an interest of mine (and hasn’t been since I left shanghai circa 2011) I’ve learnt my lesson. Now that new years has passed, hopefully so has my last night of drunken idiocy. Three cheers to the healthy life. 

I started off slow last year with going to the gym doing some cardio and some weights, which I then slowly transitioned into yogilates (a combination of pilates and yoga). The incredible feeling of doing something you love that makes you feel better on the inside is very addicting, and I’ve learnt from giving new activities a try that I should expand my fitness habits in the next year for a better body and a better mind.
From being stuck in the strongholds of high school mentality, I finally learnt to let go of what others think and focus on what makes me happy. I love the unconventional, and the occasionally perhaps downright ugly items, and I guess those quirky flamboyant aspects are what make my style what is it. No longer will I dress to please others, but to please myself. From doing that up until middle school to only restarting doing it now, I don’t know what went wrong in between and how I spent years nearly lusting over bad body cons and general basic bitch items. 
Happy to leave my bad closet choices in 2014.

 In 2014 my life goals evolved around boys, possessions and shoes. Things that seem to be a great life orientation starter but are actually flimsy and unaccountable. From listening to the advice of a boy who had no interest in my well being whatsoever, to spending all my cash on some shoes that would eventually cheer me up after that bad advice and set me on the right track, I was failing at life. So as my second grade teacher would always say “shoot for the moon, and at least you’ll land amongst the stars” let the year of 2015 be the year of bigger, brighter goals with more meaning than shoes and boys. 

Three Cheers to the New Years.


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